By Josh Dredze, Psy.D.
When was the last time you sat in the calm? “I do that all the time,” you may respond. No, not the last time you sat watching Netflix. The last time you sat doing nothing. “Yup. Just did that yesterday.” No, not the last time you sat with your phone on social media. The last time you really sat doing nothing. “Nothing?” Yup. Nothing.
Our society is geared toward constant engagement. If we’re not working, we’re exercising. If we’re not exercising, we’re listening to music. Even our relaxation is programmed through apps. What we don’t do is nothing. Changing the way we think is not an easy endeavor. It involves, what Dr. Ellis referred to as, ‘disputing’ or challenging our unhelpful beliefs. However, how can we expect ourselves to actually change those beliefs if we never give ourselves a chance to think? If we’re always engaged, we never have a chance to reprogram. Although that may mean less work or less progress on our TV show queue, doing nothing is also important.
I, for one, am guilty of this. Routine is good. Especially, during uninterrupted winter months, we can get locked in. I have found getting locked into my routine, however, also means getting locked into my way of thinking. Whether that’s thinking about a person, problem, or future event, I can develop my own irrational beliefs. Finding opportunities during my day to just sit and assess, allows me to dispute those beliefs. I can catch myself being overly negative about a situation or too flustered with a person. While REBT allows us to adjust our thinking in these circumstances, we need to give ourselves a chance to reflect and change those beliefs.
For each person it’s different. Sitting in the calm does not need to be an all-day affair or even more than 10 minutes. However, finding consistent times throughout our hectic schedules to reflect on our thought processes, can enable meta-thought, ensuring our thought patterns are in-line with a rational style. Constantly bombarding ourselves with new information, more issues, and further stress will eventually overwhelm the most rational thinker. So, try to find a few moments in your day to put away your running shoes and even your phone, to really do nothing but sit and think, rationally.
