By Stephanie Grossman, M.A.
I consistently get angry when people either argue with me about (what I believe to be) incorrect information about mental illness, and especially when anyone with “role model” or educator status spreads these myths further. I experience this “myth spreading” frequently amongst my friends, celebrity or “lifestyle bloggers” I follow on social media, and in professional contexts as well. With friends, my behavioral response is often to validate their individual experience, but correct them too (for example, “I’m so glad X therapy was helpful for you, but research actually shows that the majority of people benefit from Y” or, “we actually don’t quite know what causes Z disorder”). I often continue to experience anger when others’ dismiss or disagree with the information I’ve shared. If I were talking about anatomy to a friend in medical school, would I really claim to know more than she does?! My thoughts here are: You do not know more than I do about this. You are belittling my years of studying and experience and the mental health profession as a whole. You should have more respect for me, for my intelligence, and for mental health research. Even more frustrating is when someone’s “mythical message” is being sent to a wide audience. One of my future goals as a clinical psychologist is to increase the public’s knowledge of, and access to, evidence-based mental health treatments, so when I see people sharing false information, I have the following irrational belief: theyhave no right to be providing mental health advice that could be putting people’s health in danger!
However, despite all of these demands that I put on others to stop stating their opinions as facts or decide that their personal experience applies to everyone else (can you tell this still bothers me!?), many people are still doing it. So, I’ve been trying to examine if my anger is useful in these situations (not really), and exactly how and when I should employ different behavioral responses. For instance, if someone I’m speaking with doesn’t seem receptive to information I’m sharing, it’s probably the best to just accept that they won’t believe me, and let it go, otherwise I’ll just get angrier, and so will they. Similarly maybe I should refrain from giving my opinion when a debate or conflict seems unimportant or inappropriate, but choose to assert the knowledge I have when I am legitimately fearful of a potential harmful outcome. When I reflect on the lack of utility of my anger, it helps to curb it. Likely, the more I’m open to others, listen to others, and do not allow anger to get in my way, the best chance I have of being respected, ultimately getting my message across, and perhaps learn more from others too.
