By: Monica Shah, M.Ed.
Things can always be seen in different ways. It’s a fact. Why do two people have markedly different reactions to the same situation? Because they view them differently. It’s the classic ‘glass half empty’ or ‘glass half full’ example. Our perspective can dictate how we feel about what happens in our lives, and can help us cope with situations that may appear challenging in the moment.
Perspective reminds us of what is important and what is not. It helps us recognize when we probably don’t need to dwell on that one bad grade or that person who was rude to us, and when it’s time to let a past hurt go. It helps us move forward through the bigger problems and not sweat the small stuff. Perspective doesn’t make the problem go away, though – it simply helps us refocus and move through issues with more of an even outlook. Changing your perspective is like changing the window through which you view the world. When you change how you view the world, you change how you feel about it.
REBT provides a theory and framework for developing a more balanced perspective in our lives. The first thing to remember is that how we think affects how we feel. Rather than events or other people “making” us feel a certain way, we do this to ourselves through our perceptions. Simply put – it’s never the situation that’s 100% at fault, it’s the way we choose to view it. In order to shift our perspective towards being more balanced, we can shift how we think about it.
According to REBT, people lead happier lives when they think more rationally and more flexibly. To achieve this balanced way of thinking, it helps to foster tolerance for ourselves and others, develop flexible thinking habits, accept uncertainty, work towards self- and other-acceptance, and have realistic expectations. If we are able to cultivate these types of rational thinking patterns, we can approach situations with an accepting attitude even when they seem immediately challenging.
Developing a balanced perspective can help us to organize issues and see more clearly which problems are big and which are not. Also, if we can identify our unhelpful thoughts (i.e., the glass-half-empty thoughts), we can work on shifting ourselves towards more helpful thoughts. How you see the world is all a matter of perspective. What’s something in your life that you can shift your perspective on?
I’ll leave you with some of my favourite quotes on perspective…
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. – Viktor Frankl
The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes. – Marcel Proust
No problem can be solved from the same consciousness that created it. We must learn to see the world anew. – Albert Einstein
If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. – Wayne Dyer