by Joseph Castrogiovanni, M.S., MHC-LP
If overthinking were an Olympic sport, I would be competing for gold. In a single week I could spend countless hours thinking of various situations from my past, present, and/or future. With so many things that have or could go wrong, how could you not?! While learning from past mistakes and planning effectively for the future are invaluable processes, one can quickly reach a point of diminishing returns.
As humans, we often assess for threats in our environment. This tendency has served us well from an evolutionary perspective (e.g., helping our species survive when we had to fend off lions, tigers, and bears), however, it can be implicated within our experience of anxiety. In modern day we are typically faced with more benign threats, but on a much more frequent basis. Therefore, it comes as no surprise that most, if not all, of us over think at times.
For me, overthinking is a problem because it can be a massive drain on my time and energy (e.g., mentally, physically, and emotionally). Consequently, this can reduce efficiency and even lower quality of life at times. The fact that I can become fixed on almost any thought makes this problem particularly elusive; but there is a theme.
More often than not, my incessant thinking is in search of perfection. For example, I may replay a conversation in my head from last week one hundred times or so, while questioning if I was a good enough friend. Essentially, it is perfectionism (e.g., thinking that I should be the perfect friend) that underpins this type of self-criticism and overthinking. Therefore, I can combat this problem by challenging my perfectionism and the time I spend engaging in maladaptive coping (e.g., rather than exploring all the interchangeable events I may think about). In theory, this will help me produce the greatest amount of change possible because it gets to the root of the problem (i.e., the core irrational belief that informs how I look at the world).
In an average week I spend about nine hours (conservatively) overthinking in this way. Within one year this maladaptive habit consumes approximately three weeks. THREE WEEKS! This is not working for me and it is not at all how I want to utilize my time. That is almost a month of my life spent chasing an idea. And I refer to it as an idea because it does not truly exist. It is a construct of my imagination that no person, place, event, or behavior can fulfill.
It is always preferable to be competent and proficient, but I am learning that pursuing perfection is futile. In addition to being unrealistic, I believe it actually slows progress. This is because when I focus too much on an ideal (i.e., demanding perfection) it is common to put myself down. Consequently, the time spent overthinking and self-downing, is time that could be used to self-improve.
Developing awareness and intervening for myself is a valuable and necessary tool. Though it will take time to become proficient, I know I am one step closer toward a healthier way living.
Do you have maladaptive behaviors that are biting chunks of time out of your life too? If so, what techniques do you use to improve your quality of life?
