Practicing what you preach is much harder than it seems, and this experience has given me valuable insight into what my clients go through when we talk about unconditional self-acceptance. Additionally, it’s one thing to intellectually understand a concept like Unconditional Self-Acceptance, but quite another to actually live it when life presents obstacles.
Recently, I sustained a second-degree burn on most of my leg, and the idea of unconditional self-acceptance (USA) went out the window. This injury has forced me to confront the reality that I need to redefine and reconstruct my own self-acceptance all over again.
What even is unconditional self-acceptance? What’s unique about it is that it emphasizes the individual’s ability to choose and construct their own definition of self-acceptance. In more concrete terms, it means freely deciding to accept yourself without conditions—regardless of successes, failures, flaws, or what others think. Unconditional self-acceptance means recognizing that while you may make mistakes or have shortcomings, these do not determine your overall worth as a person. But when you’re in the thick of it, as I am now with this burn, it’s easy to ascribe global ratings to your self-worth. Because this injury has made it harder for me to walk and has altered the physical appearance of my leg, I feel irrational beliefs creeping in. Thoughts like, “I can’t walk, so I’m useless,” or “My leg is scarred, so I’m not beautiful,” or “If I’m not healed by the end of this week, I’m a failure” have been feeding into a lower sense of self-esteem, kicking me while I’m down.
While my family and friends have debated these irrational beliefs, their support is only one part of the equation. Much like the therapist in a session, they provide Unconditional Other Acceptance (UOA) to me, giving me the space to acknowledge my current situation and work toward unconditional self-acceptance. However, this situation has shown me that the real work must come from within. In order to heal—not just physically, but also emotionally—I have to let go of unrealistic demands for perfection and embrace a more balanced and rational way of thinking.
Ultimately, healing takes time, whether it’s my leg or my definition of self-acceptance. If this past week has taught me anything, it’s that it’s okay to acknowledge my fallibility, flaws, and weaknesses without rating myself as all positive or all negative. And that like many things in our lives, self-acceptance is not static.