Today’s world is full of a variety (or at least, the illusion) of endless choices. At our fingertips, we are given access to every kind of cuisine, every possible route to a destination, and even every possible single person in our area “looking for something casual.” One would think that these opportunities would lead to a greater sense of freedom and excitement. However, I have observed those around me becoming seemingly paralyzed by choice. The mountain of options in our lives has created a sort of debilitation, in which we seem to have less conviction in what we believe is a fine enough option.
I’m not talking about deciding whether to take out a mortgage. What I’m referring to is the torment of picking a bagel flavor, or whether to reply to that guy on Hinge who just isn’t that cute. Suddenly, these low stakes decisions are loaded with irrational weight. What if the bagel is awful? What if I’ve just wasted $10? What if I’ve wasted a whopping two hours of my life on this awkward date?
Irrational beliefs are more than likely at play here. We wouldn’t be so worried about these outcomes if there weren’t some awfulizing, demanding, or intolerable cognitions associated with them. For example, picking a gross bagel flavor might be annoying, and we might prefer not to swallow ten bucks, but it doesn’t have to ruin the rest of our day. We might be counting the minutes on a crappy date, but it doesn’t have to be the person we spend the rest of our lives with. If nothing else, we’ve learned a funny story and maybe got a free meal. As humans, we tend to flee from the worst case scenario. We may not want to entertain the thought of what would happen if a date goes sour. But by confronting that, we can learn how the worst case scenario might not be all that bad. It takes some stock out of otherwise heavy or intense decision making. Are we able to live with a fine enough choice? Maybe we’ll save some energy for life’s larger quandaries.